Exclusive: Where the The Hobart Chinaman Lives!

About the Hobart Chinaman.

Self described as an Accidental Occidental Oriental many have been prone to ask, why?

Damn good question!

Briefly, Hobart is a destination, you don’t go anywhere from here. Hobart born kids do, they go away.

Getting a public service job down here was a good pre retirement gig, working for the government an experience.

Hence Accidental.

Great Grandmother was born in 1872 of Scottish stock in rural Victoria. There’s gotta be a story in there somewhere. Maybe something for me to track down! A more intriguing tale tho’ is her marriage in the early 1900’s, to a Chinese laundryman. They produce five kids. I’m one of the kids of their twin girl. How’d they meet blah blah blah. Anyway,

Great Granny was  Occidental.

Dad from a Cantonese family of nine marries Mum in 1948, their kids are my brother and me. Guess that makes us quadroons. Meeh,

I’m preferring  Oriental.

And so an Accidental, Occidental Oriental

On a listless day  the Accidental Occidental Oriental tools around on Google Maps.

You know the listless tooling, seeing your house from the street and measuring distances to the pizza shop or Maccas.

All useful things to know.

Zooming out, a place marker shows up which identifies a bay, not twelve minutes walk south of home, on the eastern shore of Hobart’s Derwent estuary.

The Hobart Chinaman does double take.


It’s clearly marked “CHINAMANS BAY”

Is Google pranking me?

Chinamans Bay!

My apologies for the the copy of printed Google Map. I’m not inclined, nor would I, have my app extended.


Mask Controversy in South Korea!

Who the heck is Harry?

Harry had a rise, atypical of his upbringing.

Contradictions lead him down diverse paths. Upstanding guy by day, lower-standing guy otherwise.

One day in his hidden life he fainted from rebreathing his own foetid halitosic breathe, while robbing the Seoul Branch of Western Union. Though Caucasian, he’d thought to blend in with the mask wearing covid compliant South Koreans. He failed to account for heat stroke.

While shackling him, he whispered to the paramedics and security, overheard by North Korean agents in the crowd. They duly reported to Kim Jong Un,

He said “I’m the US ambassador.”

“도대체! dodaeche! [what the fuck?]” murmured the police.

Hush it up as they might the news reports got out.

US ambassador to South Korea shaves off his controversial mustache, saying it’s too hot under a mask

By Jack Guy, CNN

Updated 1426 GMT (2226 HKT) July 27, 2020

Who is Harry Harris?

From <https://edition.cnn.com/2020/07/27/asia/harry-harris-mustache-south-korea-scli-intl/index.html>


David, Anne’s husband was into word turning.

They both loved living in Tasmania, the nature, the cheeses and the Chinese tourists.

David favoured wood turning from timbers of all varieties. The multitude of colours, hardness and malleability astounded him.  Most famous is the ancient Huon Pine, now banned from logging.

From Huon scraps and flitches submerged in pristine wild rivers

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David was able to piece together fine table tops and furniture. For music boxes, with the most melodic tones he preferred Blackwood. His exquisite lockable ornate jewellery boxes in Tasmanian Oak were the pièce de résistance.

Anne preferred singing. As part of the local choral group, they minor members. Always happy to assist, they did as little as they could. The organising committee was unable to decide what type of musical event should feature at the local hall. It was to be a bring your own mystery affair, members to donate prizes.

As they arrived at the venue it was festively adorned with Christmas bunting. Prizes were left on a door side entry table in the unheated vestibule.

He carried his contribution into the mystery musical night, wondering if the left over jewellery box with several dings in the oak base, would cut the mustard. The damage was unnoticed if the box was not turned upside down.

As they left the car park she turned and whispered to him

” Hey did you remember to carry oak key?”

See the source image


It was the trip of a lifetime.

Anne and David decided on a round Australia trip to see LBGTQI+ performers, new and old farts on their final tours.

He arranged a mystery trip. She had no idea where they were off to. A few months later they settled into their cushy business class Virgin Australia seats for the vast unknown.

The hot spots in the capitals were one thing, Newtown, St Kilda, Fortitude Valley. But the Great Outback called. He was especially taken by ads for the Northern Territory:

See the source image

Back in 2000, Danny has appeared in a version of ” Who Do You Think You Are?” It was sponsored by the good folk at Ancestry. As is the case, Danny discovered his roots. Many others had. Some of his distant Cornwall forebears had been transported as convicts to Australia, and on release dallied with the local folk.

So Danny decided to claim back his heritage. To stay up with the mob pre-Instagram days, Danny decided to reinvent his name. So for the ‘last tour’ launching the new Danny he chose the dead centre of Australia.

Anne and David’s airliner cruised over the vast out back, to Australia’s dead centre. The rolling expanses of hills spread out bellow like a rumpled bedcover. The plane touched down in Alice Springs; the excitement was palpable. Then they bused out by coach-liner to the concert site in the vastness of the Australian desert.

As the sun set and the lighting rose on the stage, there was a long hushed silence, before a dramatic entrance in front of the Rock.

Excited screams and clapping filled the air as Danny sashayed on from stage right.

Anne turned to David and whispered.

“Oh what a surprise. It’s Danny .. Danny, Oh La Rue.”

Sadly Danny passed in 2009.

Book Thoughts – A Bigger Picture

Image result for malcolm turnbull book

I could hear Malcolm’s voice , and rue that he is no longer Australia’s Prime Minister.

He writes with honesty, humour and reflection on the foibles of human nature and grinding pressure that transcends friendships. It’s clear that he came to politics late aged 50, and this shows in his capacity to formulate his ideas from a wider world view than that of petty parochial party interests.

He is particularly interesting when dealing with the Universal Bully, D Trump. Asserting Australia’s national interest Malcolm speaks as an adult to the manchild, neatly xxx revelations in subsequent tell-alls on don. For those who missed go see this article re the POTUS hanging up on an international leader of a U S ally.


Malcolm was ultimately brought down by the machinations of politically ambitious apparatchiks, who rather than stick the course, were ready to chance their arm to promote their careers.

He displayed an ability to see the wider good from his political perspective, writing a personal readable yarn.

See the source image

Book Thoughts – ‘The Room Where It Happened”- John Bolton

See the source image

Though much anticipated, it’s a self serving, diaretic*, turgid chronology of a descent to resignation decency.

Suited to those who love trainspotting, or timetable memories relief is provided with analytically observed interactions, ripe for forensic judicial repudiation.

Though speed reading is yet to come to me, I received enormous encouragement to get good at it from John’s tome.

*diaretic=to reconstruct the past from a personal diary.