*

Shit! Can’t write, I’m in a funt,

Marginally better, than being a c*nt.

Use asterisk * avoiding public censure,

Is this a sign of early dementia?

Civility kicks in, or so it seems,

Yawning now, was it a dream.

Trigger warnings I still eschew,

Don’t see meself as wizened prude.

Let’s “call out” Sashka our regal cat,

What does that mean, not sure of that?

Ah! back to being cantankerous fart

Somehow thought I’d lost that Art!

Sashka – um, does she need “calling out?”

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Diagnosing Her MaJ

Her maj is dead, long live the king,

Royal pageantry, is just the thing!

But do they have the correctal doctors,

For diagnosing colonic murmurs?

Much royal diplomacy now on the phone,

Seems unlikely I’m not alone,

In wondering tho in muted tones,

She spent a long time “on the throne.’

I knew a girl

When I was young I knew😘 a lass,

As teenagers we smooched and pashed.

Affectionately we had pet names

Seem silly now, we weren’t to blame.

She called me Curley, I called her Bot,

Mattered to us, to others not.

As years passed by we drifted apart,

I think was caused by my loud farts

As editor she worked for WordPress,

As legacy media was in distress

My marriage failed, I tried again,

Retiring, I tried to pen,

My doggerel for an audience of one,

Wordsmithing terribly tortured puns

Used WordPress to increase my reach,

And learn the lessons others teach.

Been quite a journey I can say,

I’m yet to make the damn thing pay,

But Bot had noticed my attempts,

Sent warming emails on annual events.

Congrats on ‘flying’ with her site,

Teenage dreams, come home, to bite.

Happy Anniversary With WordPress.com

They thanked me for ‘flying’ with them and to keep up the good blogging.

Fuck I wondered what’s this about?

Some algorithm somewhere was notified of my commencement date, deducted that from today’s and added the resultant number of years to plug into a template email.

I’m pleased to recognise anniversaries, generally personal events. Memories to be cherished.

This is not.

Falls beautifully into the category of, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”